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Monday, December 16, 2024

Setting boundaries and learning to say no

Michelle Keenan guides her clients in creating sustainable lifestyle changes that enhance their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Photo supplied

MICHELLE KEENAN empowers people and organisations to achieve
optimal well-being by providing customised wellness coaching programs tailored to their unique needs and goals.

Learning to say “no” can be tough, especially if you’re a people-pleaser!

You know the feeling – you don’t want to disappoint anyone, so you agree to things you’d really rather not do, like socialising when you’re already tired, taking on extra work, or helping a friend out when you’re already stretched thin.

But here’s the thing: saying yes to everyone and everything can leave you feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, and even resentful. That’s where boundaries come in.

Boundaries are essential for maintaining balance in your life. They help you protect your time, energy, and mental well-being.

When you say “yes” to everyone else, you’re saying “no” to yourself.

Your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. So, how do you start setting boundaries and learning to say no, especially if it feels uncomfortable?

First, realise that “no” is not a dirty word. It’s a way of respecting your limits.

Start small: maybe you decline an invite for something you truly don’t have the energy for. Practice makes it easier. You don’t owe anyone a long explanation – “no” is a complete sentence!

Try tuning into your body. If you feel that twinge in your gut when someone asks you for something, or if your first thought is, “How am I going to find the time/energy for this?”, listen to those signals.

Take a breath, check in with yourself, and if it doesn’t feel right, say no.

Remember, setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish. Once you start prioritising your well-being, you may find your relationships actually improve because you’re showing up as your best self.

And if there are those who don’t like it – well, it’s worth considering that people who get upset about you stating your boundaries are probably those who were benefiting from you having none!

www.michellekeenan.com

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