- Join Holly as she searches east Auckland for love and connection.
In which Holly does the Grapevine…
In an earlier column, I wrote about an experience with online dating.
This garnered a response from “Louis” who told the Times (November 15) of his own experience, which left him feeling “degraded” and “shattered”.
Louis’ plight touched me. It sounded like, as a Newer Zealander, Louis had made a genuine effort to connect.
I was glad to hear that in some ways, his efforts were rewarded – he mentioned that he’s made some friends – and sorry to hear that he’d had a rough time looking for love after his divorce.
Here, Reader, is where I admit my privilege. While I’d argue the apps are not very well designed for anyone, they’re probably better designed for someone like me.
You see, “happily ever after” has never been my goal.
Don’t get me wrong – I know what it’s like to ache for company, long for companionship or suffer unfulfilled lust, but I’ve never had the urge to put all my eggs in one basket.
As such, I can’t properly imagine the courage it must have taken for Louis (and others) to give love another chance after the relationship they thought would last a lifetime has ended.
I admire that courage, and sincerely hope that Louis will, in time, find a wonderful partner.
Meanwhile, I hope that he’ll continue to enjoy his friendships… and perhaps those friendships (or future ones) will be the key.
Several happy couples I know started off as “friends of a friend”.
Until then, it certainly seems to have gotten people talking. A post responding to the piece on the East Auckland Grapevine attracted some interesting comments:
“Preach! I loathe the apps. Let’s be honest, they make money outta single people and pervs so there’s little incentive in creating actual matches,” wrote one person.
“Maybe someone should organise an East Auckland singles event,” writes another.
Incidentally, Reader, one such organiser has already introduced herself and I will try to report in this column of any upcoming events.
“Better luck at The Barrel Inn,” suggested one commenter, while others grumbled about men just wanting sex and women just wanting free dinners.
Then, there was another who wrote: “I met my husband on a dating site – together 10 years and married six, with three kids. There are some good stories out there.”
Then, Reader, another Grapevine story caught my eye. An anonymous member posted about feeling isolated, and east Auckland stepped up in a big way.
Invitations for coffee, suggestions for networking events, writers’ groups, clubs and volunteering opportunities of all kinds flowed in.
I was so proud to see our community respond in such a welcoming way, and glad for the member who so courageously opened up and asked for help.
Call me a digital cynic, but to have one’s faith in people renewed while scrolling through Facebook was an unexpected experience.
Sometimes, east Auckland, you really do impress me.
You might have noticed I have a thing for literary quotes. After reading these stories of east Aucklanders seeking connection, I found myself thinking of George Bernard Shaw – Nobel Prize winner who once famously stayed at our very own Prospect of Howick, back when it was The Marine Hotel.
From his work, he seems to have been both spicy and an idealist – just my type, really (aside from the beard). I’ll leave you with his words:
“Life is not meant to be easy, my child, but take courage: it can be delightful.”
Email holly@times.co.nz
Yours in love,
Holly
