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- Join Holly as she searches east Auckland for love and connection.
In which Holly prepares for Valentine’s Day.
Throughout history, things have happened on February 14. Captain Cook died. Aretha Franklin recorded Respect. Zinzan Brooke was born.
Year after year, however, other milestones go largely unnoticed as people celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Some people find Valentine’s Day exciting. For some, it feels lonely or sad. Not so for me, Reader.
I’ve always rebelled against the commercialism and performative aspect of it. Generally, whether I’m partnered or not at the time, I prefer to simply give it a miss.
That’s just me, though. I know that many people genuinely enjoy having a date in the calendar to plan something special with their partner.
They like to have a reason to make a fuss or be fussed over and show their love to the world.
And, I suppose, why not?
Heck, the world needs all the love it can get right now. So, why not declare your love openly?
Whether it’s celebrating platonic love with a Galentine’s dinner or bromantic brunch, strengthening family ties with a games night, or honouring your own love for nature by doing a beach clean-up, go hard!
Speaking of hard things – decisions, that is – I recently received one of the most interesting Valentine’s invitations ever.
Tim and Tom (not their real names) asked me to join them for the evening. They’re planning a small private Valentine’s party at their Botany home.
They told me all about the fun they anticipated, involving another male couple and me.
“Our wine rack is full and party-ready, but we’ve decided it would be great to have another impressive rack in the room,” joked Tim.
He’s always been gay and never dabbled with women. Tom’s preferences, however, are a bit more fluid.
When he’s feeling rambunctious, he likes to kiss women and is fascinated by their chests (I know because I know).
Tom’s invitation, therefore, made sense, but I was intrigued by how open Tim was to having me involved.
So, I asked him: Given that he doesn’t see breasts in a sexual way, why was he so keen to have me topless in his home?
“Honestly, they’re fine. They’re just a body part to me, like elbows. The fun comes from watching the man I love enjoy himself.”
And that, Reader, is a good enough argument for Valentine’s Day, even for a cynic like me.
Kindness. To find joy in the joy of those we love, whether it’s inspired by a fancy dinner out, a kinky night in, roses and candy, or simply a hug and a cuppa.
Maybe that’s what we need more of, every day of the year.
I thought hard about it, but I won’t be attending the party, Reader.
I’m planning a quiet night in with Fredrik Backman. Whatever your plans are for Valentine’s Day, I hope you have fun.
Holly’s personal picks for Valentine’s Day:
Books
All That We Know, by Shilo Kino, is a modern take on family and friendship and how, even in a divided and often polarising world, the resilience of friendship, love, and connection can defy the most challenges of our times.
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, draws on decades of research in psychology, neuroscience, and ancient philosophy to share the fastest, most direct path to changing your relationships with other people.
Fourteen Poems to say I Love You. These poems are not about love but declare it with an immediacy that’s captivating and irresistible.
The titles above are all available from Poppies, in Picton Street, Howick.
Honourable mention: My Friends by Fredrik Backman. Eagerly awaiting my copy, I don’t hesitate to recommend this before I’ve even read it, based on the humour and humanity of Backman’s other work.
Eats
Fast Eddies, Howick. Sometimes, simpler is better. If you prefer your romance cheap and cheerful, grab some fish and chips from this village mainstay and head to your favourite local beach to watch the sunset.
Gorkha, Eastern Beach. What can I say… I love a bit of spice and am also a fan of the great service there. I passed on the ever-popular chocolate naan bread, but my date loved it.
Ambrosia, Beachlands. The seafood platter for two (yes, with oysters) and the citron tart are a great romantic dinner option.
Drinks
Soho Westwood Rose. This off-dry drop from Waiheke balances playfulness and depth well. It pairs brilliantly with a charcuterie board – perfect for quality time on the couch with your favourite person.
AF drinks. A refreshing alternative if you’re looking to explore non-alcoholic options. My favourites are the Grapefruit Margarita and the Apero Spritz.
Remarkable Cream Dark Chocolate. This Kiwi made cream liqueur is the ultimate indulgence. Best served in cocktails, over ice-cream, or licked from the collarbone of a lover? You choose.
The products above are all available from Liquorland Howick.
Online sites
Lovebetter – dating and relationship perspectives by and for young New Zealanders.
Mlnp – real world intimacy, curated by humans to be ethical, sexy and safe (R18).
estherperel.com – access a wide range of resources from one of the world’s foremost relationship experts.
Sounds
Hallelujah. Was the world ready for the poetic genius of Leonard Cohen and the delicious vocals of Jeff Buckley to come together for this version? Probably not. Maybe we’re still not ready… but if the aim is to invoke emotion, you can’t go past this track. It’s a stirring song about love and faith, ecstasy and humanity.
Into You. Slow dance with your darling to this ballad by Kiwi crooner Teeks and your evening is bound to end well.
A Kiss to Build a Dream On. Louis Armstrong was a serious jazz musician who nonetheless knew how to write joy and whimsy into a piece, as he did in this adorable and timeless track.
Honourable mentions: Better Together by Jack Johnson, a bright and uplifting tune about enjoying one another.
Watch Me Burn by Michele Morrone. A dark and pulsating tune about enjoying one another (contains explicit language).
Recommendations are not sponsored and reflect only the writer’s personal opinions.
Email holly@times.co.nz
Yours in love, Holly
